Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Catch Up Ketchup

So much for a diary as this unfolds. Fast forward to now. I've read everything I can possibly find on IBC, have had a visit with the oncologist and a staging MRI. The MRI put me at III B because I have tumors that have invaded my chest wall through the pectoral muscle and because lymph glands are fully engaged and happily pumping the stuff out.

The junior oncologist - don't know if he started shaving yet or not - was a bit of a cavalier twerp, inspired no confidence and confirmed my conviction to eschew the horrid standard slash and burn treatment. He left me no doubt that he was lucky he knew where to hold himself to pee as he made one factual gaff after another. I KNEW more on IBC than he did.

He said that he wanted to do a biopsy to confirm the three tests and visual evidence that all say I have IBC. I told him no. When I said that the biopsy would seed the track of the needle punch, he stated that they were going to remove 3/4 of my breast anyway. I asked, "Which quarter are you planning on leaving? The nipple? A mole"?

This was one of his gaffs - there IS no partial mastectomy for IBC because the skin itself is the cancer along with the tissues under and around it. It all has to go. Which means part of my ass would end up on my chest if I let them to cover the gaping hole left there.

So. I will post the MRI contrast results another post. More of the same good news. I also now know that I have between 6 and 22 months and have had a feeling confirmed that next fall will more than likely be my departure.

I've spent time with my son. We're cool. My friends are helping me much out my costume biz, clear paths through the house, I'm getting my end of life papers finished up and can sit back and enjoy very soon. No heavy thoughts tonight. I've had my fill of them earlier.


Jackie said...

Wow! Thats alot to swallow , Isn't it? I Don't know if you have ever visited Renee's blog but here is the link
She also has IBC and a wonderful blog .
Sending you hugs and comfort:)

queenlint1 said...

Yes it is a lot to swallow, Little Flower. But here's the deal. Every single one of is is going to die. It is a fact of life and our last big graduation. I feel priviledged to know when my time is so that I can do what I want done.

Thanks for the link to your friend's blog!!

Anonymous said...

actually, i think it might be our first big graduation...
who can know?

thanks for the update. stay strong, you are one classy lady. <3

Loren McCraney said...

Words fail. I had a friend with this horrible disease.

Wishing you peace, comfort, and clarity.

Sending My Love and Support,
Loren McCraney

queenlint1 said...

Anonymous! You may indeed be right that the Big D could be our first big graduation!!

I'm not scared about it, just a bit curious. The pain and mechanics of dying don't particularly enjoy a top ten on my joy list, but they're part of the action.


queenlint1 said...

Thanks much, Flower. Please help both your friend and myself spread the word to all women and the men who love them about this sneaky disease!


Iris313 said...

Just checking in on you lovely. You sound grounded. *hugs* That little doctor didn't know who he had in his office, did he? I wonder if he's still shaking?

Loving you

queenlint1 said...

Hey B!!

No, bless his heart. He didn't. First off, knowledge is power. And I had knowledge. Next, you know how mouthy I am in the best of times. It's only gotten worse and less censored since the big C.

He got back at me, though. He's refused to refill my pain pill Rx.


Stacey said...

This is my first time reading your blog but I want you to know I am sending positive vibes your way.

queenlint1 said...

Thanks for your comment. Make sure that all the people in your life know the symptoms of this horrid disease!!


Loren McCraney said...

Just was thinking of you, and dropped by to see if you had any new words on your blog.

Wishing you merriment, memory-making, and enough strength to enjoy it all!


Olive Tree Guitar Ensemble said...

Hi, it's a very great blog.
I could tell how much efforts you've taken on it.
Keep doing!

Mary Sonya Conti said...

GF...YOUR STILL ALIVE and KICKIN BUTTS! When you revealed that you were fighting this monster and stated you were going to slay the dragon on your own you know I cried. Too close to home; a repeat of what my mother went through. Dina they told her 6mo to a year (she lived some 32 years more and educated everyone around her in that time). Accept no man made time schedule. Our Father will call you home in HIS time. In the meantime what greater teacher is there than what you are going through. We are your grasshoppers. Your my shinning star.

Fanny and Anthony Christian said...

Have only just found out about your ilness and can't believe it. I am so so sorry and will pray for you and your family. Don't know what to say really and you have probably heard it all anyway. We feel so impotent. Just wanted to send love and very best wishes and will be thinking of you every day. Huge hugs Fanny and Anthony xxxxxx

lorna said...

d - have you seen this article? hoping you are doing well.... please update us if you have the time and energy.

tesha miller said...


I love and respect you so much,, I send much healing to you honey... tho I know your a touch ass shit lol .. and you know what you want and when you want it.. know you can call on me whenever you have a need or itch, lol and i will let you pat billys ass while i rub your booboo hehe ;) i love you so. you have taught me more recently than i can ever imagine. Thank you, I still want to do my fabric (sew it) that is at your house mama.. you are such a strong and wise wonderful sage. I love you , with all i am

Mary Sonya Conti said...

Tis fall, although my mind thinks of you daily, we are at a marker. Hear not from you do we (which causes anxiety and fear of loss) Do you still come back here now and again? Do you tap into the love we have for you, Do you know what a hollow hole is left here in this limbo of not knowing.