Sunday, December 09, 2007

Revelation

So. I got an email today from TS Slusher. Or somesuch name. The subject line read "You make me so horney just knowing you." Surely someone from my youth. Or maybe it's one of those weird skinny guys that gets turned on by cellulite and girth.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I'm A Millionaire


Received the following this evening. It was good news. I could definitely use the cash to supplement my art career. Spelling is atrocious. I've highlighted the ones I found. Maybe the dollar amount is a typo as well:



From:edward henry wrote:
Form Edward Henry Esq,
Solicitors & Advocates,
Block 10, Flat 5, Rue du,
Boulevard PB 51,
Togo Lome.


Dear Kerik,


I am Barrister Edward Henry Esq, a legal practitioner, I am the personal attorney to (Mr. David S. Kerik), a national Of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Company in Lome, Togo. He used to be my client .

On the 31th October, 2004, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along Nouvissi express Road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.I have contacted you to assist in repartrating (repatriating??) the fund valued at US$15.5 million left behind by my client before it gets con-fis-i-ca-ted (con-fis-ca-ted??) or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this huge amount were (was??) deposited.

The said Finance Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confisicated (con-fis-ca-ted??) within the next twenty one official working days.

Since I have been unsuccesfull (unsuccessful??) in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.

Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim.

All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Best Regards.




Barr Edward Henry Esq.
Principal Attorney,
EdwardHenry Chambers
Lome Togo.



My Answer:


Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2007 17:24:06 -0800 (PST) From: "Dina Kerik" <xxxxxxxxxx> View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Subject: Re: Kerik's Estate To: edwardh007@yahoo.com


The only Kerik I know of worth more than a million is a cousin, Bernard Kerik, former Chief of Police of New York City under Rudy Guliani. Would you like me to put you in touch with him? He's under Federal indictment for various tax and mob problems, but I'm sure he'd be willing to send you something.